What We Really Need To Hear (and Say) On The Hard Days

 

 

 

 

There are some days that can’t be fixed.  Some incidents, some tragedies, some mistakes….

 

Just can’t be fixed. 

 

And I try…. Oh BOY, do I try…..

 

I think that if I can just think the right thoughts, say the right words with the right tone of voice, give the right perspective or point to the right things…..

 

It will somehow be better.  Happier.  There. Fixed.

 

“Look at the bright side,” I say.  “You have your health…”

 

“You can have more children.”

 

“He lived a full life”.

 

“You’ll find new friends.”

 

“She obviously wasn’t ‘the one’.”

 

“Things will turn around.”

 

“Everything happens for a reason.”

 

Have you ever noticed how pointing out facts doesn’t ever make a person feel better?

 

Truth is….. and this is hard…..

 

None of the above can

Cure cancer,

Bring back the dead.

Heal the sick,

Restore a relationship,

Re-grow a limb,

Change a childhood,

 

Change anything.

 

Because for us, having a thing “fixed” would really mean rewinding time and having it never, ever happen.

Before the diagnosis.  Before the accident.  Before they ever met. 

 

We, I, want it to have never happened.

 

And the fact that I can’t undo anything in this world frustrates me.  I encounter a hurting person who is also powerless to turn back time and I panic.  I grasp for anything…. anything that sounds happy or positive or good to say because…. well…I don’t know….. Maybe whatever good I can find for them will outweigh the bad?

 

Wow.  Isn’t that just shockingly lame?  I think the Bible backs up this statement as well:

“Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, so is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.”- Proverbs 25:20

 

Yikes.  As it turns out, all of my well-meaning “buck ups” and pats on the back bring the same result as taking a person’s coat from them as they stand out in the freezing cold or pouring vinegar on their wounded flesh.  I actually cause greater pain in their lives when I remind them of all they “really should be thankful for”….. or whatever.

 

Alright.  So I can’t fix it.  I can’t lift the burden from someone else’s heart.  I can’t turn back time so that it never happened.  The “good” I identify will not cancel the hurt, the shame, the sadness, the anger, the despair.  So what am I supposed to do?

 

As you may have guessed, Andy helped me answer this question this week.  He saw a little girl, Sammie, crying on the playground all by herself during recess.  He stopped and asked her what was wrong.  She, of course, was having a bad day.  One he couldn’t fix.  Unlike his mother, though, he didn’t even attempt to fix it.  And that made all the difference.

 

“I just want you to know,” he said, “that Jesus loves you.  And in this sinful world  we are going to have bad days.  But in Heaven, there won’t be any bad days.  There won’t be anything bad at all.  And Jesus has prepared a place for you there.”

 

There.  That’s it.  He didn’t try to minimize her pain, point out the shining sun and spring foliage, or offer numerous solutions to her problem.  He gave her hope.

 

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. ³ And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; ⁴ and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; ⁵ and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.⁶ For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” –Romans 5:5-6

 

I’ll tell you the truth.  I’ve got family members who’ve recently had terrible diagnoses, friends dealing with ruined childhoods, a broken heel myself, and I can’t fix any of it.  And no amount of comparison to others “worse off” or desperately searching for good will change anything.  It’s terribly disappointing.

 

But hope.  Hope in Jesus Christ, who brought me and them and you peace with God by dying at the right time for us…. the helpless…and has introduced us by faith to God’s undeserved favor because of His unfailing love for us…. Hope in His glory

 

Does not disappoint.

 

Reader, in this sinful world, there are going to be bad days.  When you are being tossed and pummeled by the waves and wind of the torrential storms of this world, cling to your anchor.  Shout out to the others to come cling to it too, and watch with excitement as your God shows up to be glorified.  And as He works in these frail, helpless beings…..

Perseverance

Character

Hope

He will be glorified.

And you will not be disappointed.

 

What we really need to hear on the hard days is the truth.  And the truth is that this world is fallen.  We are broken.  We are helpless.

But God didn’t leave us there.  And His Son came and saw and healed and died and rose and now….

Prepares a place for you.  And me.  And them.  With Him.  Exult, reader, in these tribulations because your hope leads to sure victory in eternity with Him who pours His love out on you forever.

And when we encounter the hurting, those adrift in the sea, those rocked by tragedy, those out in cold…..instead of becoming coat thieves, instead of reaching for the vinegar, let’s grab their hand and pull them to the anchor.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain”- Hebrews 6:19

Behind the curtain is all they need….all we need…. the very presence of the God who is love.