The < / > Game

 Up for a riddle?

I’m very useful in some applications.

I’ll help you to make good choices.

I have the power to make you question everything about yourself.

I’ll destroy every shred of joy you have, if you’ll let me.

Here’s my sign:

< or >

Got it?

Yes, you do.  Comparison, right?  Great when used to evaluate interest rates and bulk purchases and living space; completely destructive when used to evaluate people.

I know it’s the middle of the summer.  But there’s something I wanted to share with you back when it wasn’t summer, and I just didn’t.  I have many excuses.

Anyhow, Andy was born with a math brain.  When he was 3, he would simply “notice” how 3 plus another 3 gives you 6…while we were driving around town.  He’s got a knack for it, and his grades reflect that fact.  Now, although the math happens fast, the writing down of the math happens painfully slow.  This never bothered Andy.  Until suddenly, he realized that others in the class were finishing far, far ahead of him.  Do you know what he thinks now?  You do.

“I’m bad at math”.

It’s pretty hard to convince him otherwise.  He has entered the comparison game.

I wonder if you agree with me…that the comparison trap is much like a pinball machine.  We are the balls, and we bounce from terrible feeling to terrible feeling….

We zoom out of the chute and bounce from worthlessness to justification to judgement to anger to self –loathing, envy, and back again.

“That’s ok,” Andy says, “because I bet none of them have made movies before.” (He makes little movies on iMovie in which his brothers are the reluctant stars).  See?  We don’t have to be taught how to do it.  If we find ourselves evaluated as “less than” in some area, we immediately seek some kind of assurance that we are actually “greater than” in order to feel secure again.

It goes like this (insert your own example):

 Her kids are so well behaved.  Better behaved than mine.  She must be a better parent.(<)

Well, she is pretty hard on them.  I’ll bet they won’t have a very good relationship with her when they’re older.  I spend more time having fun with my kids…building relationship…than getting after them. Relationship > good behavior, so…..(>)

Everyone thinks she’s so great, though, and their family seems so happy.  I’m not sure we’re that happy.  I don’t think people have the same high opinion of me as they do her. (<)

She’s probably putting on a face for everyone to see, and she’s teaching her kids to do the same.  I believe in being real.  You could argue she’s lying.  Being real > lying, so….(>).

And it doesn’t end here, does it?  From here, the envy, the gossip, the hatred sprout up and choke out the things we want most….

Peace

Joy

Love

Freedom

No one’s ever glad they spent time inside the pinball machine.  It’s an exhausting prison of our own making.  What’s the escape?

Let’s look at the words of a guy who spent years striving to be “greater than”.

This man was arguably the most zealous Pharisee that you ever did see (feel free to use that as a rap lyric.  Although someone else probably has already).  He followed the letter of the Law of Moses (everything from the 10 commandments to all the stuff in the book of Leviticus…which is a lot) to the point that he could call himself “faultless” with regard to righteousness based on law.  He was from the tribe of Benjamin, which was a big deal…quite prestigious in Israel.

He met someone, though, while on yet another quest to prove himself “greater than”, with whom no one could compare.  He met this One who shone like the sun, so that he was blinded.  He called him, “Lord”.  For three days, as he was led by the hand, he couldn’t look around and compare.  He couldn’t look at anyone’s faults or weaknesses and find all the ways in which he was superior.  He couldn’t look at anyone’s successes and try to top them.  Do you think he spent awhile mulling over Whom exactly he had met?

At the end of those three days, he was willing to listen to the words of Ananias, who told him Whom he had met.  He was baptized and immediately began learning from Jesus’ disciples and teaching in the synagogues “that Jesus is the Son of God” (Acts 3:20). 

Could he have continued on his merry way with endless judgement and one-upping at this point?  Could he have become the chief of disciples?  Could he compare his persecutions, his baptism numbers, his commitment and zeal to those of other believers and just jumped into a pinball machine of a different color?

Actually, no.  He couldn’t.  Here’s what he wrote:

“It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.  Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.  Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever.  Amen” – 1 Timothy 1:15-17

Not the chief of disciples.  The chief of sinners.  He found mercy not because of all of his “greater than” efforts, but because of all the terrible things he did that actually made him very much “less than”. Less than who he had been created to be. Because of his desperate need of redemption…and because of God’s infinite goodness, he found mercy. Because God wanted to demonstrate His mercy, He poured it out on Paul.  He is an example for us.  We can clearly see that Paul deserved punishment for what he did with his life.  We see it in ourselves.  It’s terrifying. 

So we run.

And we justify.

And we compare.

What if, instead of looking all around, grasping for a chance to be > , running from the < that chases us, we

STOP

And we look at Jesus, as Paul did.

What greater demonstration of love have we than Jesus Christ coming into the world to save sinners….all of us “less than”s?  Do our lives have value?  Yes, because the eternal, immortal, invisible God sent His Son to take the punishment we’ve earned…to take our place…so that we could take His—

To be sons and daughters of the most High King.

Is there a need to try to be > when this is the position purchased for us by blood?

You see, when we look at Jesus, comparison with one another makes no sense. 

Here’s what I’ve told Andy:

“God made you exactly like He wanted to make you.  The speed with which you work glorifies Him.  Praise Him for it.”

God gave you the kids He gave you on purpose.  Your application of the wisdom you seek from Him in raising them glorifies Him.  It has nothing to do with what someone else is doing.

Your career is a gift from Him.  It doesn’t need prestige or a big paycheck.  To Him be the glory, right?  You’re the son of the King!  What do you care about those other things?

Your talents... gifts... that He gave you on purpose... they glorify Him when you use them, at whatever skill level you find yourself.  They are there to bring honor to Him.  It's ok if you're not the best; and if you are, He is still better.  Praise Him for the abilities He gave you!

He has good plans for you in your current stage of life, and they're tailor made for you.  Things may not look like you thought they would at this stage, or like others' lives look at the same stage.  It's ok.  God has a unique path for you to walk.  Step out in faith and walk it with Him?

When we find ourselves looking around…comparing, envying, self-loathing, judging, let’s get out of that machine before the game starts by looking at Jesus instead…by mulling over exactly Who gave His life to purchase our freedom.  Marvel with Paul that God sees the endless ways you and I fall short and He came to get us back anyway. It is purely a demonstration of His perfect patience and mercy…not something we now need to attempt to earn.  Might you memorize Paul’s words with me, so that we can preach them to ourselves in our moments of weakness?  Sigh relief with me...He is truly > all, and He loves you infinitely.

“Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be the honor and glory forever and ever.”

No this <

No this >

Just Him.