The < / > Game

 Up for a riddle?

I’m very useful in some applications.

I’ll help you to make good choices.

I have the power to make you question everything about yourself.

I’ll destroy every shred of joy you have, if you’ll let me.

Here’s my sign:

< or >

Got it?

Yes, you do.  Comparison, right?  Great when used to evaluate interest rates and bulk purchases and living space; completely destructive when used to evaluate people.

I know it’s the middle of the summer.  But there’s something I wanted to share with you back when it wasn’t summer, and I just didn’t.  I have many excuses.

Anyhow, Andy was born with a math brain.  When he was 3, he would simply “notice” how 3 plus another 3 gives you 6…while we were driving around town.  He’s got a knack for it, and his grades reflect that fact.  Now, although the math happens fast, the writing down of the math happens painfully slow.  This never bothered Andy.  Until suddenly, he realized that others in the class were finishing far, far ahead of him.  Do you know what he thinks now?  You do.

“I’m bad at math”.

It’s pretty hard to convince him otherwise.  He has entered the comparison game.

I wonder if you agree with me…that the comparison trap is much like a pinball machine.  We are the balls, and we bounce from terrible feeling to terrible feeling….

We zoom out of the chute and bounce from worthlessness to justification to judgement to anger to self –loathing, envy, and back again.

“That’s ok,” Andy says, “because I bet none of them have made movies before.” (He makes little movies on iMovie in which his brothers are the reluctant stars).  See?  We don’t have to be taught how to do it.  If we find ourselves evaluated as “less than” in some area, we immediately seek some kind of assurance that we are actually “greater than” in order to feel secure again.

It goes like this (insert your own example):

 Her kids are so well behaved.  Better behaved than mine.  She must be a better parent.(<)

Well, she is pretty hard on them.  I’ll bet they won’t have a very good relationship with her when they’re older.  I spend more time having fun with my kids…building relationship…than getting after them. Relationship > good behavior, so…..(>)

Everyone thinks she’s so great, though, and their family seems so happy.  I’m not sure we’re that happy.  I don’t think people have the same high opinion of me as they do her. (<)

She’s probably putting on a face for everyone to see, and she’s teaching her kids to do the same.  I believe in being real.  You could argue she’s lying.  Being real > lying, so….(>).

And it doesn’t end here, does it?  From here, the envy, the gossip, the hatred sprout up and choke out the things we want most….

Peace

Joy

Love

Freedom

No one’s ever glad they spent time inside the pinball machine.  It’s an exhausting prison of our own making.  What’s the escape?

Let’s look at the words of a guy who spent years striving to be “greater than”.

This man was arguably the most zealous Pharisee that you ever did see (feel free to use that as a rap lyric.  Although someone else probably has already).  He followed the letter of the Law of Moses (everything from the 10 commandments to all the stuff in the book of Leviticus…which is a lot) to the point that he could call himself “faultless” with regard to righteousness based on law.  He was from the tribe of Benjamin, which was a big deal…quite prestigious in Israel.

He met someone, though, while on yet another quest to prove himself “greater than”, with whom no one could compare.  He met this One who shone like the sun, so that he was blinded.  He called him, “Lord”.  For three days, as he was led by the hand, he couldn’t look around and compare.  He couldn’t look at anyone’s faults or weaknesses and find all the ways in which he was superior.  He couldn’t look at anyone’s successes and try to top them.  Do you think he spent awhile mulling over Whom exactly he had met?

At the end of those three days, he was willing to listen to the words of Ananias, who told him Whom he had met.  He was baptized and immediately began learning from Jesus’ disciples and teaching in the synagogues “that Jesus is the Son of God” (Acts 3:20). 

Could he have continued on his merry way with endless judgement and one-upping at this point?  Could he have become the chief of disciples?  Could he compare his persecutions, his baptism numbers, his commitment and zeal to those of other believers and just jumped into a pinball machine of a different color?

Actually, no.  He couldn’t.  Here’s what he wrote:

“It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.  Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.  Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever.  Amen” – 1 Timothy 1:15-17

Not the chief of disciples.  The chief of sinners.  He found mercy not because of all of his “greater than” efforts, but because of all the terrible things he did that actually made him very much “less than”. Less than who he had been created to be. Because of his desperate need of redemption…and because of God’s infinite goodness, he found mercy. Because God wanted to demonstrate His mercy, He poured it out on Paul.  He is an example for us.  We can clearly see that Paul deserved punishment for what he did with his life.  We see it in ourselves.  It’s terrifying. 

So we run.

And we justify.

And we compare.

What if, instead of looking all around, grasping for a chance to be > , running from the < that chases us, we

STOP

And we look at Jesus, as Paul did.

What greater demonstration of love have we than Jesus Christ coming into the world to save sinners….all of us “less than”s?  Do our lives have value?  Yes, because the eternal, immortal, invisible God sent His Son to take the punishment we’ve earned…to take our place…so that we could take His—

To be sons and daughters of the most High King.

Is there a need to try to be > when this is the position purchased for us by blood?

You see, when we look at Jesus, comparison with one another makes no sense. 

Here’s what I’ve told Andy:

“God made you exactly like He wanted to make you.  The speed with which you work glorifies Him.  Praise Him for it.”

God gave you the kids He gave you on purpose.  Your application of the wisdom you seek from Him in raising them glorifies Him.  It has nothing to do with what someone else is doing.

Your career is a gift from Him.  It doesn’t need prestige or a big paycheck.  To Him be the glory, right?  You’re the son of the King!  What do you care about those other things?

Your talents... gifts... that He gave you on purpose... they glorify Him when you use them, at whatever skill level you find yourself.  They are there to bring honor to Him.  It's ok if you're not the best; and if you are, He is still better.  Praise Him for the abilities He gave you!

He has good plans for you in your current stage of life, and they're tailor made for you.  Things may not look like you thought they would at this stage, or like others' lives look at the same stage.  It's ok.  God has a unique path for you to walk.  Step out in faith and walk it with Him?

When we find ourselves looking around…comparing, envying, self-loathing, judging, let’s get out of that machine before the game starts by looking at Jesus instead…by mulling over exactly Who gave His life to purchase our freedom.  Marvel with Paul that God sees the endless ways you and I fall short and He came to get us back anyway. It is purely a demonstration of His perfect patience and mercy…not something we now need to attempt to earn.  Might you memorize Paul’s words with me, so that we can preach them to ourselves in our moments of weakness?  Sigh relief with me...He is truly > all, and He loves you infinitely.

“Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be the honor and glory forever and ever.”

No this <

No this >

Just Him.

Apology Not Accepted

Does it matter?  The response to the words, “I’m sorry”?

I’d like to introduce you to Levi, our middle son.  He’s hilarious, full of life, and full of energy.  He’s so full of energy that he finds himself having to apologize a lot.  A LOT.

Levi has almost completed a school year at his county-run preschool.  It’s been a great experience for him, and we’re very grateful to have had this program available.

However, we’ve encountered a difference in philosophy, you could say, with the way playground offenses are handled at school.  Maybe it’s no big deal.  Maybe it’s huge.

We’ve spent years teaching our kids that when an apology is made, we respond with the words, “I forgive you.”  We then leave the offense behind and move on, purposing to never bring it up again.  Hey – if Jesus has covered all of our sins with His blood, who are we to hold a grudge about a knocked-down block castle?

However, Levi has learned at school that when an apology is made, the correct response is, “I accept your apology”.  Lately, he’s been catching himself mid-sentence to switch from “I forgive you” to “I accept your apology” because that’s the way they do things at school.

Does it bother you?

It bothers me, and it took me awhile to figure out why.  It’s not because it’s different…we’ve always known and prepared for the fact that many things will be done differently at school than they’re done at home.  It’s not because it’s wrong…there’s really nothing wrong with accepting an apology.  It’s just…

Weak.

Empty.

Powerless.

Take a look at this:

ac·cept:

1. consent to receive (a thing offered).

a·pol·o·gy: 1. a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure.   So, it’s safe to say that we can rephrase it this way: “I will consent to receive your offer of a regretful acknowledgement of your offense.” I could add, “I still hate you for it.  I hope you receive worse in return.  I want nothing to do with you.  I’ll not forget this…”  You get the idea.   So, what if Ephesians 1:7 read like this:   “In Him we have the acceptance of our apologies”.   What would that mean, exactly?  That Holy God Almighty has consented to receive my acknowledgement of failure?  When all parties have acknowledged the wrong done, what then?    “Well, now that we all agree that you’ve failed….”   What?   Allow me to philosophize for a moment.  It makes sense to identify things by what they do.  A creature that swings from trees and eats bananas is identified as a monkey.  A device that uses electromagnetic radiation to warm things up is identified as a microwave.   And a person who lies is identified as a liar.   And a person who says one thing and does the opposite is identified as a hypocrite.   I sometimes…I often…do things that I don’t understand.  I make choices that go completely against everything I know to be right.  I hurt people that I love.  Sometimes I don’t care very much that I’ve hurt them.   What does that say about me?   Because, you know, I do some “good” things…sometimes.  And sometimes I do good things from selfish motives.   What does that say about me?   On any given day, if you are to identify me by my actions, I am a liar, a manipulator, a judgmental hypocrite, a selfish pretender.  And because I begin every day resolving not to be these things…   A failure.   Now, if all my God can do is accept my apology…if all my friends, family, and acquaintances can do is accept my apology…   I remain a liar, a hypocrite…a miserable failure.  And how will I ever live with myself? What hope do I have?   If you and I are honest with ourselves, we might just find that we live like that…as if the best we can hope for is that God accepted our apology this time.  We are rotten beings, unworthy of love; unworthy of hope.    HOWEVER,   That’s not really what Ephesians 1:7 says, is it?   “In Him, we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that He lavished on us”   Let’s look at a couple of the key words in this verse….words that drastically change the meaning from our hypothetical Ephesians 1:7.         for·give: 1.stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for (an offense, flaw, or mistake):          2. cancel (a debt):     re·demp·tion:        1. the action of regaining or gaining possession of something in exchange for payment, or clearing of debt   The clearing of debt.  The cancelling of debt.  Banishing anger and resentment.   In his book, Counterfeit Gods, Tim Keller says this:   “If you have been robbed of money, opportunity, or happiness, you can either make the wrongdoer pay it back or you can forgive.  But when you forgive, that means you absorb the loss and the debt.  You bear it yourself.  All forgiveness, then, is costly.”   What does it cost to accept an apology?  I’ll say it costs nothing.  You can still harbor all the resentment and anger in the world and still accept an apology.  The debt still stands.   But forgiveness costs, and forgiveness cancels.   And the only One who ever truly had a right to harbor anger against another, being completely righteous Himself, laid it down, absorbed the debt, and paid the price with His very blood.   For you.  For me.   Me.  The one who lied and cheated and hurt for her own selfish gain and willingly became a slave to a cruel taskmaster.   And He paid to get me back. As He hangs maimed and bloody and gasping on a splintered board,   MY debt is cancelled.   Friend, your debt is cancelled as Christ cries out…NOT “Accept their apologies, Father…”   But rather, “Forgive them, Father.”   He did this not to give you and I different tasks or dole out new jobs, but to give us a new identity…   “See how great a love the Father has lavished on us, that we would be called children of God! And that is what we are…” – 1 John 3:1   And “THAT” is what we are!!  Believer, His lavish love…not our sin…defines us now. We are defined by what HE does…not by what we have done. Not by what we have done!   Not a liar.  His beloved child. Not a hypocrite.  His beloved child.  Not a failure.  HIS beLOVEd child!   Can you imagine what perfect parenting might look like?  Unconditional love and acceptance would probably characterize it pretty well; and believer, through Christ, it is lavished upon you!   Can you just sit with Him a bit today and let Him remind you how much He loves you?  Can you believe Him when He says He’d do anything to have you with Him?  Can you let relief and joy flood your heart as you remember that your debt is cancelled by your Father who loves you perfectly?     I don’t know about you, but I need to hear the words of forgiveness.  I need to hear that those things I’ve done that defy reason, that mock God, that lead me to believe I’m a hopeless failure…   Are gone.    Levi’s just going to have to get used to it.  Because he doesn’t quite know it yet, but he needs to hear it too.  I’m thinking you do too.   The debt-free life is waiting for you if you haven’t yet asked Jesus to cancel yours.    And if you have?   Rest/dance in the joy that is your new identity, and for all that awaits you for eternity with Him.  And then…   Go and cancel those debts others owe you.  They’ll never be able to pay them down sufficiently anyway.  Roll them over to Christ, the only One who can completely absorb and do away with them forever.  The words, “I forgive you” are among the most difficult to utter because they are so costly.  Friend, forgiving another will cost you your right to be angry, hurt, and bitter.  It will cost you your desire to seek revenge.  It may cost you the conceit that often accompanies being “right”. Bring these bindings to Him and let Him cut you loose.    God’s kids get to live free of chains.  Ask Him for the courage and freedom to speak those life-giving words.   I’m so glad He accepted Jesus’ blood, instead of my apologies.  Aren’t you?   “I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” – Galations 2:20

Free to Offend, Or Offend to Free?

“Is it because of my handwriting?” he asked.

“No,” I answered.  “It’s because…well…what you wrote…it’s offensive”.

The truth.  It’s offensive sometimes. 

We euphemize and bush-beat and sugar-coat.  But at the end of the day, the truth is often downright detestable to a world that loves lies.

So you're given an assignment to write what you'd do as President of the U.S..  Every kid gets to write whatever they want.  And every kid’s finished work gets hung up in the hall for everyone to see.

That is, of course, unless you’ve written something that doesn’t feel so warm and fuzzy as the presidential daydreams of a 7-year-old might be expected to feel.  If you’ve implied that there is right and wrong…that there is horrifying injustice and violation of a divine moral law being committed at this very second; and if you’ve said it must stop…

Yours has to go home with your mom.

 In case you can’t quite make it out, his text reads, “I would make good choices, like it is illegal for moms to kill babies in their stomachs or even when they are out.”

So we had to have this discussion…about this world in which we live.  About how strange it is that if he’d simply written about “people” instead of unborn children, he’d have his assignment displayed with all the others.  About how when a world that’s being lulled into drowsy slavery by sweet-sounding lies gets angry when jarred by the alarm of truth…the clear call to freedom.

But I’m not a slave…..

 “So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, ‘If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine, and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.’  They answered Him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never yet been enslaved to anyone; how is it that You say, ‘You will become free’?  Jesus answered them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin.  The slave does not remain in the house forever.  So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.” – John 8:31-36

There it is…the offer of freedom.  Extended to those who sold themselves into slavery to a heartless taskmaster bent on their destruction.

And they’d rather believe He had a demon than admit to their true state.

We walk through this life, you and I, and we try to make sense of it.  There is death, there is oppression, there is abuse, there is tragedy.

Corruption.

Everything beautiful has been turned on its head and used for some purpose far lower than that for which it was originally intended.

We grow up amidst it and realize that our very hearts themselves are corrupt.  We are powerless to do or even know the right thing to do.  We try; we fail.  We try harder; we fail. We try our hardest.  We fail.  There’s just no way.  It’s too hard.

We lose hope.  We must either escape this bondage or change our perspective on it.

Escape seems impossible.  The mere suggestion of it starts to sound offensive.  Ridiculous.

We decide we like our prison.  We stop calling it prison.  We tell ourselves that this life is exactly what we want, and settle for life in a cage.

But then, this man comes along claiming to have been anointed to preach to the poor, to free the captives, give sight to the blind, free the oppressed, and proclaim God’s favor.  It rattles us.

IF there is a God, then I’ve really, really disappointed Him.  He’s probably so angry at me….

Just leave me alone.  I feel safe here in my cage.

IF there is a God, there is a moral standard which I can’t attain.  I’m held accountable for the choices I’ve made….

Oh my gosh.  Get this stuff away from me.  I can’t take it.  I can’t.  I’ve decided there’s no right or wrong.  It’s the only way I can live with myself.  Don’t you dare tell me differently.

IF there is a God, I’ve broken His heart.  Oh…..

But listen.  Can we listen?  Just for a minute.  Listen to Him…please.

“As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth.  And His disciples asked Him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?  Jesus answered, ‘It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.  We must work the works of Him who sent Me as long as it is day; night is coming when no one can work.  While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.’”- John 9:1-6

Jesus heals the blind man.  He works the works of “Him who sent Him”.  He is the light of the world…bringing hope to those in chains.  And the blind man…had he been unwilling to admit to his blindness, would he have been set free from it?

We are so busy tending to our management of caged life that we can’t imagine what is meant by “freedom”.  We don’t want to admit we are caged any more than the Jews in John 8 wanted to admit they were.

But it is the truth.  And our freedom depends on our willingness to grasp it as reality.

Who’s going to be offended by what Andy wrote?

Anyone who doesn’t know what great Love extends His hand and offers freedom from the endless work of justification for falling short.

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus…”- Romans 3:23

Should I tell Andy that, for the sake of not offending others, he should set about encouraging others to enjoy their lives in their cages?  Leave the blind men alone…they don’t know what “seeing” is anyway? Should I tell him to keep the truth…the key to their freedom…to himself?

“…whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in His blood through faith.  This was to demonstrate His righteousness, because in the forbearance of God He passed over the sins previously committed; for the demonstration, I say, of His righteousness at the present time, so that He would be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.” – Romans 3:24-26

No.  We are here to rattle cages.  We are here to display as publicly as Jesus was displayed publicly that there IS a God in heaven, He IS completely righteous, and yet, through the blood of His Son…

He’s passed over your sin.  All of it.

He is not only perfectly just, but also justifies you…

So that you are free from the tyranny of sin that envelops you.  Free….

Is Andy’s hope that a mom walking the halls of his school will feel a sudden pang of guilt upon reading his piece?  That some indignant mind will see the writing of a child and have a complete change of heart?

No.

His hope is to see this world governed by the One who came back for His children…the ones who sold themselves into slavery.

It is that we would run to the Redeemer who sought us out and bought us back, to free us from the power of darkness.

It is that the works of God might be displayed…in the mom who lives with regret, the dad buried under guilt, the masses of living dead….

That they might LIVE!

You who are free…go out and rattle some cages today.  Tell them there’s living hope stronger than their chains.

“Therefore, we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life" - Romans 6:4