And now, how do I let go?

And the question on my mind as I laid in bed this morning?  "How will I ever let go of that little hand when it's time?"

Because, you see, I can hold that hand all day long.  I can wash it with soapy water.  I can high-five it.  I can smack it when it reaches for an electrical outlet.  But let it go?

Simply because I had to prepare for my kindergarten Sunday school class and also simply because God's timing is perfect, I read the beginning of 1 Samuel today.  And God introduced me to Hannah.  I couldn't help but wonder as I imagined Hannah leading her (probably) THREE year old son to the "house of the Lord" (which was not the nice place it sound like because of the corrupt priests within its walls): how DID she let go of that hand?

And no one would blame Hannah for going back on her word.  I mean, come on...she'd had no children, she'd prayed and waited desperately for years, and had vowed that if God gave her a son, she'd dedicate him to the Lord. She said she'd take him to Shiloh, to be raised by the preists there, once he was weaned.  But couldn't she just have had a little more time with him?  To cradle that precious face?  Laugh at his jokes?  Celebrate his birthdays?  Sing him to sleep?

But for Hannah, parenting was not just about these treasured things.  This boy, her only child, was a gift from God...given not only to her, but to the nation of Israel as well.  He was a light, shining in a very dark time.  Though Hannah could not have known all that God had planned to do in and through Samuel, she trusted her God and kept her commitment to what His spirit had prompted her to do.  For Hannah, parenting was about acknowledging the sovereignty of  God and entrusting her most precious treasure to Him.

Thanks to Hannah, I knew what to do when the first bell rang this morning and all the kids lined up to go inside.  I let go of Andy's hand, and my heart immediately grabbed onto my Father's hand.  And Hannah and I- we did not leave our boys in the hands of the perverse, the wicked, the corrupt.  We placed them right where they belong - in the hands of their loving Creator.  And we left giving thanks for His goodness, His strength, His power, His faithfulness - albeit, through tears.

And this is the verse that my husband sent through email to our son today; but really, God sent it through him to me -

"fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my victorious right hand."
-Isaiah 41:10

And I held that victorious hand all the way home.

And Andy?  Well. He had a pretty good day.  He says he got sad a few times that he wasn't home, but that he quickly "snapped out of it" and went back to what he was doing.  In my book, that's sheer grace.

And then we talked of glow-in-the-dark stickers, and how they soak up the sun's light and glow bright in the darkness.